I Hate You Guys
by Ayai
Summary: Living with three other otakus makes life interesting, but not as interesting as living with the Hetalia characters. Why, out of all people, was I chosen to be a freaking beta? As if I wasn't stressed enough. Based off Lollidictator's manual series.
1. Chapter 1

**Those of you who read my other stories, I mentioned somewhere that I was working on this. It's just something for me to do when I'm bored, so the updates won't be regular or anything. **

**Based off LolliDictator's manual series.**

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><p>It really makes me mad that I don't own a laptop. Like, really, really mad. Because I only have this stupid desktop, I can only be on the computer in one spot, at my house. Whenever I go into Starbucks or something, people always have their laptops, and I always wonder what it would be like if I brought my desktop computer here.<p>

Well, it used to be my computer, now I'm supposed to call it everyone's computer, even though it's mine. I do believe I was the one that got it for Christmas, not my friends / roommates.

My parents work overseas in China. Why in China? Because they get paid more. My Mom told me that if I wanted to keep living in this house, we were going to have to make a lot of money. I don't even want to live in this stupid house, I get lost it's so big.

It's big because it used to be an old bed and breakfast, and for whatever reason, my Mom just "_Had_ to get it", because I hear I was conceived in one of these rooms, which one, I don't know, and don't care. When I first learned that I would be living in this big old Victorian Mansion looking place, I about had a heart attack, knowing that the place was haunted or something.

It was pretty, but it didn't feel like home. It was too clean, too shiny. Not enough carpet. And there was a table with a vase in the foyer, like you'd see in a hotel / bed and breakfast, which my house is neither. I hate that stupid vase, I've been so tempted to break it so many times, and it's driving me _insane_.

So, because my parents ditched me and junk, I've got my friends staying here with me.

No, they aren't paying rent either, just to piss of my Dad.

They're here because I get lonely quite easily, and when I'm lonely I tend to cause a lot more trouble than when I'm surrounded by familiars. This also makes it easier to do a number of things that us otakus do when we're together.

For an example, making your cosplay goes a lot smoother when you have three other cosplayers breathing down your neck waiting for you to finish, so in those days before the con you're never rushing to finish up, because the cosplay was completed a month ago. Planning for conventions is easier when you can just shout down the hall to get information, when normally you'd have to actually get your butt off the couch and either go look it up, or drive to your friends because their phone is always dead and they happen to absolutely never be on Facebook when you need them to be.

Speaking of conventions, they're the reason why we are all sitting in a circle on the floor in the den, clearly stressed out.

"If Cin goes as Romano," Paige began, motioning towards me, "I'll go as Italy."

"But then I'll just be random, you don't usually see a Fem!Prussia running around with the Italians." argued Sarah, leaning back onto the recliner.

"I'll be Liechtenstein, too. I guess we could kind of go together." I pointed out. "If you were just a normal Prussia we could go as a pairing."

"But I want a long wig. Are we cosplaying Kuroshisuji on Friday or Saturday?" Sarah directed her question towards Paige, who shrugged.

"If we do Hetalia on Saturday, we can do Kuro on Friday and Sunday."

I frowned, "But I'll be Liechtenstein on Friday, and it'll be like at MomoCon when Sarah and I were cosplaying for different animes. It's not as fun."

Conner spoke up, "I can go as Austria on Friday so Madison and I can be a pairing, then I'll be Switzerland on Saturday. I'll probably be Spain on Sunday."

Now, you might be thinking, Conner, isn't that a GUY name? Well, a cookie for you intuitive readers (There goes the fourth wall), because Conner is, in fact, of the MALE gender.

A single guy in a house with three girls. This may sound a little strange to some, but because Conner is not interested in the slightest bit of the opposite sex. Which is also the reason he's staying rent free at my place.

There's a reason everyone's staying at my house, Paige and Sarah used to live in the school dorms, but they had to pay for it, and they didn't like using their money on living accommodations when they could have been spending it on their yaoi interests. All of our interests, actually. Yaoi happened to be one of the many things we all had in common.

So, Conner's parents seem to be extremely homophobic, and are hard-core Catholics. When Conner came out to them earlier this year, he wasn't immediately kicked out onto the streets. No, first his parents tried to "pray the gay away" or some shit like that, and when that didn't work, Conner started showing up to school with bruises littering his skin, only showing them to Sarah, Paige and I, as we were his closest friends.

His parents eventually gave up on him and kicked him out. He ended up on my doorstep, and we took him in.

He hasn't spoken to his parents since then, and his mood turns sour every time you mention them, which is why we don't.

Paige held up a hand, "If you cosplay as Switzerland on Saturday, the only relevance you'll have to any of us will be you and Sarah both being German and you always trying to shoot me. If you switch Switzerland and Austria around then you could still be paired with Cin on Friday and you'll be paired with Sarah on Saturday, and then paired again with Cin on Sunday."

I slammed my hands down onto the ground, "Done deal. Sarah, write this down."

Sarah did as she was told, typing away on her laptop, then looked at us all sort of funny, "You guys, the con is in September, you know."

We all just stared at her, and she continued typing after a sigh.

I scooted myself to her side to watch what she was writing

**Cin/Madison/Madi/Whatever the hell she wants to be called: Friday – Liech Saturday & Sunday – Romano**

**Paige: Friday & Sunday – Grell Saturday – Italy**

**Conner: Friday – Switzy Saturday – Austria Sunday – Spain**

**Sarah: Friday & Sunday – Sebastian Saturday – Fem!Prussia**

"That lists probably subject to change, so you should write that down." Conner pointed out, scrunching up his nose to keep his glasses from sliding down.

"Why?" Sarah asked a look of confusion on her face.

"Because."

"Because why?"

"I said so."

They, of course, then started bickering. Conner reached over Sarah to try and take the laptop away, and they were eventually trapped in a game of tug-of-war.

Not wanting the laptop to be broken, I removed it from both of their grips.

Settling it down on my lap, I got on the internet to check my email.

Conner and Sarah hardly noticed the laptop was gone, because they just kept going at it. I scrolled through my inbox, making sure to click on every email notification from , smiling with each review I received for my stories.

Normally, seeing the word "Hetalia" in my inbox is a common thing, more than common actually, it's rare that I get an email from something other than , because every one of my stories that I've favorited, alerted, or written were Hetalia ones.

But Hetalia was in the subject line this time, which was what threw me off.

"Congratulations, you've been selected to beta our Hetalia Units!" I read aloud, looking at Paige, who wasn't paying attention. I hadn't remembered applying to be a beta recently and I certainly never betaed anything that wasn't a video game or a story.

Out of my better judgment, I opened the email.

"**Dear Cin,"**

My eyes narrowed, because the only people who actually called me by my nickname were close to me, and understood the meaning. For it to be used in a email from what I assume to be a computer, this bothered me.

"You've been selected to test out our Hetalia Units. Rest assured, you'll be payed for your hard work. Please email updates to this address, being sure to inform us of any issues with your units."

The email said more, but I was only paying attention to the arrival date. The third of April.

I looked up from the laptop, "What's the date again?"

Conner answered me, "The third."

The doorbell interrupted my reply.

I jumped from my position beside Sarah, and raced to the front door, my socks causing me to slip on the marble flooring.

After almost knocking over the stupid vase, I was able to yank open the door, where a large wooden crate awaited me. A UPS man with an irritated look on his face gave me the clipboard to sign, which I did.

He handed me a manual then jumped off the porch instead of taking the stairs, disappearing past the side of the house.

Paige looked over my shoulder at the box, than down at the manual in my hands.

"OH MY GOD." She cried, and I instantly recognized her slipping into fangirl mode, "I read a fanfiction like this once. Bring the box inside!" She jumped up and down and took the manual from my hands, flipping through it.

I recruited Conner to help me lift the box into the foyer, settling it next to the piano pushed up against the staircase.

Paige was still hopping in place, "It's PRUSSIA! We got a PRUSSIA unit!" She kya'd and dropped the manual. Sarah picked it up and started reading from it.

"**Removal of your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT from Packaging**

**Due to your unit's volatile, rash nature, removing your unit from his box may prove to be quite the challenge. For your safety, we have provided a list of ways in which to wake him up, as improperly waking him will result in agony for you and all nearby.**

**1. Stand next to the box and pour beer on the lid. Your unit will claw his way out and harass you for some beer, and we advise you give it to him if you value your house. After getting his alcohol, he will be very friendly to you.**

**2. Set a plate of Austrian apple strudel next to the box, or play piano as well as you can. Your unit will get out carefully, probably in the belief that you are a RODERICH EDELSTEIN unit, and will try to ninja-jump you; reprogram him fast enough and he will not try to rape you.**

**3. Stand next to the box and say anything in Russian, preferably with the best accent you can manage. Your GILBERT BEILSCHMIDT unit will tremble hard enough for the box to shake, and then you can open it and he will cry with joy at the fact that you are not an IVAN BRAGINSKI unit; he will also be very submissive to anything you want. If you would like a defiant unit, stand far, far away - preferably at a distance from which you need a microphone - and call your unit by 'Kaliningrad'. The box lid will fly off and your unit will go into a rage, searching for an IVAN BRAGINSKI; reprogram him quickly to avoid major damage to your house.**

**4. Activate his Gilbird unit. This will automatically awaken your unit and he will chase Gilbird down.**

"Which one sounds funner, number two or number three?" Conner asked, and none of us knew.

"Whelp, let's get this over with." I said, sitting down at the piano. "Don't let him rape me please. Thankies."

Ironically, I decided to play "Maru Kaite Chikyuu" because I thought it'd fit the situation.

A quiet creaking could be heard over the piano, and my gaze flickered to the lid of the crate slowly being pushed off.

I put my eyes back on the keys so I wouldn't mess up, because Austria _never_ messed up while playing the piano.

"Aha! Got you now!" A voice cried and I was immediately knocked from my position on the piano stool onto the ground.

I flailed around, and my knee made contact with the albino's vital regions. When I could finally see something other than the dark blue of Prussia's military uniform and I scrambled up from the ground.

"Guys! You were supposed to help me!" I yelled at them, they all looked at the ground with sheepish smiles on their faces.

"Sorry." Conner said, and Prussia jumped out of his position on the floor. He glared at me a bit before returning to his box. He ruffled around in that white stuff that I can't remember what they're called (Ha, white stuff), and pulled out a cardboard box, quickly ripping it open and Gilbird flew out.

"So, you losers got any beer?" Prussia asked us, and Paige nodded. We all glared at her, but Prussia ruffled her hair and set off the go find the refrigerator.

"Why would you tell him that?" Conner asked, and Paige shrugged.

"Drunk Prussia is fun Prussia."

I sighed, "This is going to end badly, I just know it."

Just then, a crashing sound came from the direction of the kitchen. I banged my head on the wall.

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><p><strong>Conner isn't real. I made him up because I wanted another gay friend.<strong>

**Well then. I guess I have to work on my other stories now. Ciao~**


	2. Chapter 2

See, you might think I was pretty mellow about being forced to babysit countries, and that is how it appears, but I'm actually freaking out.

I have Prussia living in my house.

EVERYONE ELSE IS GOING TO BE SO JEALOUS WHEN THEY FIND OUT.

Everyone else being the Hetalia cosplay group in my area.

Seriously, I'm a true fangirl, and I've been spazzing every second since Prussia's woken up. It's been about half an hour, and he's already drained the kitchen of beer. We've sent Conner out to get more seeing as he's the only one with a fake I.D.

See, Paige, Sarah, and I have been planning on getting one, but we're really very busy people. This kid at school can do it for us, but we don't really talk to him, one day he's just going to snap and kill everyone. When he does, I feel like if he doesn't really know who I am, he'll be less likely to strike me down with his chainsaw or something.

I stole Sarah's laptop again, scanning the email trying to figure out what exactly being a beta entailed for something like this. It said I was getting paid, but how much? And how many Units would I be getting? Because I only get a certain amount of money a month for food and junk, and I don't have enough to waste on other people.

Prussia leaned over the back of the couch, watching me read with the last can of beer in his hand, he was obviously bored, because Gilbird had become more interested in Paige's canary than him, and he had no one to fool around with at the moment. We were all pretty crazy and stuff, but we all knew when to calm down and be serious.

"Hey," Prussia said, poking me in the back of my head. "You German?"

"Yeah, mostly. I'm also French and Scotch-Irish." I said without pulling my eyes from the small print on the screen.

"What's up with everyone being so mixed now and days?" He sunk to his knees and rested his chin on the back of the couch, "You are all so unawesome."

"Excuse me for being mixed. Want to talk to my German friend? She can speak the language." I pulled out my phone and dialed Kelly's number, wordlessly handing it over to the excited Prussian that was motioning for the cell before I even finished dialing.

"Hallo? Is this the awesome ex-citizen of mein bruders? – _Wie__cool!__Alle diese__Amerikaner__nicht einmal wissen,__wie man__Deutsch sprechen__, schließlich habe ich, ihnen zu helfen, __auch__tat!_ – _Eh?__Ich bin__Preußen__natürlich!__Welche__Verlierer__haben Sie gedacht,__ich war?_" Prussia turned to me and pulled the phone slightly away from his ear.

"Your friend is totally awesome kleines Mädchen." He said to me, and then walked out of the room, chatting in German rapidly.

I waved him off and closed my email, not gaining any information I hadn't had before. I pulled up a fanfiction I was reading and began from where I left off.

After awhile, I heard the front door open with a squeak then shut quickly.

"BEER!"

The shout came from a Prussian who had finished his last awhile ago. Naturally. Who else do you think would freak out like that?

A crash came from the direction of the foyer, and I assumed it was the vase.

I set the laptop on the couch next to me and made my way into the foyer, barely even noticing the shattered glass.

Prussia stared at the ground, "What an ugly vase."

I nodded, "I agree, clean it up."

He started whining, but complied and set off to find the dustpan. I think. That or to put the 12-pack he had in the fridge.

Conner's eyes appeared troubled from what I could see, and that wasn't much seeing as he liked his hair hanging in his eyes like he was Justin Beiber or something.

"What?" I asked him, stepping carefully over the glass. I've had glass in my foot before, and that shit hurts. Whenever I get cut, it's usually because of glass. Everytime I break something glass, I can't resist slipping into this haze where I can't really control what I'm doing. It's commonly called, "A blonde moment." I seem to get them constantly. When I'm in this haze, I like to run my finger over broken glass, because it feels cool, until I cut my finger. Then I get all pissed and I'm just like, "Why the hell did I do that?"

"There's a crate outside, Cin." He said, opening the door and pointing it out.

I tapped my chin, like this was an everyday occurrence. "So there is. This is strange, We only got Prussia awhile ago. Oh well, help me get this box in."

Paige appeared at the top of the stairwell, "I HOPE IT'S ITALY!"

I screamed back, "NO! IT'S GOING TO BE AMERICA, DON'T JINX IT."

Conner and I maneuvered the crate inside, putting it beside Prussia's, which we still haven't thrown out.

Conner glanced at the manual, "It's England."

"Good enough. Just as good actually." I said with a smirk, and Paige groaned and sat down on the step she had been seizing on a second ago. Sarah appeared behind her and patted her back comfortingly.

I took the manual from Conner, flipping through the pages, finding out how to open the box.

I glanced over the directions for waking him up.

"These are boring," I declared, and threw the manual over my shoulder, not surprised when someone shouted in pain.

I turned around to see Prussia glaring at me and rubbing his head, with the manual on the floor at his feet. I smiled at him and turned back to Conner.

"Let's wake him up a different way!" I said, and then sat down on the piano stool to think.

Sarah peered at me through the railings, "Uh, I don't think that's a good idea."

I ignored her and snapped my fingers, "Let's have a sword fight."

I got strange looks all around, but Prussia fist-pumped, "Hell yeah! I'll go get my swords."

Paige walked down the stairs, "What swords? He didn't come with any." I shrugged and she leaned on the railing, watching the crate with uncertainty. "How is having a sword fight going to get him up?"

"He was a pirate, duh." I said, and smacked my forehead. "He should remember what a sword fight sounds like and get interested."

Prussia appeared from the hallway with two rapiers in his hands. He tossed one to me and I caught it, thankful that Sarah and I had wasted our time and money to take fencing lessons.

"Rules of the sea, anything goes. First one dead loses. Go!" Prussia shouted, and lunged, I parried with him, barely having time to adjust my footing.

"Wait, wait, wait! Those can kill!" shouted Conner, trying to step between us, but Sarah held him back, claiming she was ref.

I flicked my wrist and side-stepped, getting out of the danger-zone for a second, before Prussia had descended on me with another thrust. I counter attacked and took a step back, and while he was gathering himself again I lunged forward, aiming to hit him in the shoulder.

What? I liked sword fighting. And Prussia would be fine. If he wasn't I'd finally have something to tell customer service about how their units were too breakable.

With a quick cross-over, he managed to avoid being hit, and I had to quickly raise my rapier up so his didn't come in contact with my skull.

We continued our deadly dance for awhile, both enjoying it more than we should of, until I heard the lid of the crate get kicked open, and land with a thud on the marble tile.

Conner and Sarah tackled Prussia, who was about to land the finishing blow on me, taking advantage of my distraction. A familiar face stuck out of the box, and soon he settled himself into a sitting position, glaring at everything around him.

I dropped my rapier and let out a fangirl worthy scream. I could usually contain myself, but not this time.

Paige snaked her arm around my waist and hoisted me into the air, trying not to be injured by my nails, "No! Cin, calm down!"

"OH MY GOD IT'S PIRATE!ENGLAND! WHAT DO I DO!" I struggled to get out of Paige's grip, just wanting to be able to touch the feather sticking out of England's captain's hat.

Sarah looked up from the ground, "Send him back."

Conner nodded and Paige tightened her grip around me.

I stopped flailing and turned in Paige's arms, "Can we keep him? PLEASE?"

She dropped me and shook her head. I gave my best puppy dog face, and Conner attempted to reason with me.

"Madison, you know how Pirate!England is, you've read enough fanfiction, he'll kill us all, most likely."

"Shut the bloody hell up, wench." England pulled himself out of his crate, and looked back in, no doubt searching for the missing rum. He did a double take and looked back at Conner, "Oh, my apologies lad, you're haircut is very deceiving, I thought you were a lady." He said with a sneer, and his gaze set itself on Prussia.

"– the hell are you doing here?" he asked him, and Prussia shrugged.

"No idea."

"Prepare to die."

Prussia had a hard time getting his sword raised fast enough to save his life. England jabbed at him with his eyes full of excitement, and Prussia's expression matched his perfectly.

We all settled ourselves onto the ground comfortably while we watched them fight it out, and Conner voluntarily went and popped us some popcorn.

The fight had been going on for quite a long time by the time the door slammed open, and who else would be in the doorway except Spain?

The cute Spaniard walked in front of our line of sight, but from what I could tell the look on England's face when he was him was priceless. In Spain's hand, there was a sword, stained with a familiar looking liquid.

Following after him, none other than AMERICA stepped into my house. He gave a quick waved to us open-mouthed idiots on the ground, and was surprised to find his hair being ruffled by England when he faced forward again.

"America? You've gotten big, lad. Finally eating your wheaties?" England chuckled, "Forgive me, but I must take care of some business."

He then attacked Spain, who unlike Prussia, was 100% prepared.

America slid down the wall and sat next to me, I asked him, "Where'd you guys come from?"

He laughed, "Across town, dudette. You know this place has three different McDonalds?"

Conner nodded and scrunched his face up in disgust, "Yeah, it's so gross."

I gasped at him, "Conner! How can you say that while we're in the presence of _America_?"

"Dude, how can you even say that at all? McDonalds's is awesome." America said, his expression of horror no doubt an exact replica of mine.

I shrugged, "He's weird. Weirder than the rest of us."

"Why is Spain trying to kill England?" Sarah asked, leaning forward trying to get a good look at America.

"Uh… I dunno. One second he was all 'Mi tomate~ Where are you~?' when we were downtown, and some gangster wannabes made fun of him. I don't remember what came after that, but then Spain said he detected an evil aura that needed to be cleansed, so here we are!" he said with a smile on his face. "Come on Iggy! You can win this! – So why's England in a pirate costume?"

"Shipping mix-up. I'm sure it happens all the time. Isn't he hot?" I asked, resting my chin on my knees watching England closely as he took on both Prussia and Spain.

America hesitated for a second, "Um, sure. Why not."

The fight had an unexpected end; I have to say I was pretty surprised when England and Spain ran out the door, still trying to kill each other. Prussia was knocked out on the ground, therefore he couldn't follow, but if he were conscious he probably would.

America watched them disappear with wide eyes, "Well, I should probably go stop Spain from killing everyone, I'll try and see if I can send Iggy back your way, bye dudes!" He then exited and the house was filled with a silence that hadn't been there since Prussia arrived this morning.

"You should probably call customer service before he kills anyone." Paige pointed out.

I sighed, "Fine, fine. I really wanted Pirate!England though…" I pouted and picked up my cell phone that was on the ground, and quickly checked the screen for cracks from when Prussia dropped it when Conner first came home. Upon discovering there were none, I quickly dialed the number on the email I received, half hoping I'd get another Pirate!England when they got this all sorted out.

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><p><strong>Normally I won't update a story after having updated the day before. but I felt like it, so I did.<strong>

**It usually doesn't take me all day to write a chapter, but when spring break starts next week you guys should expect a lot of updates, for all of my stories.**

**Reviews motivate me to write, and make me write faster and more, so review :D**

**Kelly's a real person, and she speaks German, and it's amazing.**

**I want a Pirate!Iggy...**

**BTW America's my favorite character. In case you were wondering.  
><strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Heh, I had to update because I want y'all to know about this.**

**SO, some of you might know about my letters to Georgia fic, and whoever sends me the 100th letter can give me a request for a fic, so if you guys want me to write something, be the 100th person to send a letter. I really need more letters from non-OC's. Don't get me wrong, I love OC's, but I love the cannon characters too.**

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><p>Customer service promised to send me another England after they caught the first one.<p>

Psh, good luck with that.

I bet Pirate!England could hide from them forever, even if he supposedly had a tracking system in his arm.

I really wanted to get another Pirate!England, but this time I'd have to lock Prussia up until I got to reprogram him that that he wouldn't try and kill us, but England's hot in his pirate costume.

Conner thinks he might come back and kill us in our sleep, and I guess it's possible, but it's been three days since he left and we haven't heard anything bumping around in the night.

But I wasn't really worried about being murdered in my sleep at the moment; I had a more pressing problem to deal with.

How to wake up Romano without being attacked.

Sarah suggested I use the manual, but I couldn't bring myself to cheat on this. Eating a tomato seemed like it'd get him out of his crate, but I might get hit.

"Conner, grab me your iPod." I snapped my fingers at him, and he reached in his pocket and pulled out said device and placed it in my hand. I scrolled through his songs, before picking the one I was looking for, and I turned up the volume all the way before setting it on the floor in front of me.

I took a deep breath and started dancing.

_"Oi, Supein! Kotoshi mo tomato ga takusan toreta zo kono yaro! _

_Buono Tomato! buono Tomato! _

_Buono buono oo! Tomato! _

_Aka agete midori sagete toma- toma- tomato__Hmph!"_

Sarah and Paige started dancing with me, and Conner watched us with weary eyes, probably wondering why he lived with us freaks.

"_Pasta ni wa tomato daro _

_Pizza ni mo tomato daro _

_Miwaku no akai tesoro tomato daisuki _

_Demo _

_Wurst ya jagai mo nanka jadou da _

_Otouto mo tabedashite muki- muki- muki- mu _

_Napolitan wa nihon ryouri nanda kono yaro! _

_"Hyaaaa! _

_France da! Mamore! Kon chikushou me!_

_Hitori ni suru na yo kono yaro!"_

The lid of the crate flew off and a blur flew out from it disappearing behind Conner, but when the song switched to the next verse, Romano automatically started dancing and singing along, clutching his tomato in his right hand.

"_Kimi ni mo hitotsu ageru kireina no wo hitotsu ageru _

_Oishii tomato tabete boku to odorou _

_(Amore!) _

_Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato _

_Buono buono oo! Tomato! _

_Chi vediamo a romano _

_Minami Italia_

_("Aa...onaka suita zo! Souji owan nee na!") _

_Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato _

_Buono buono oo! Tomato! _

_Aka sagete midori agete toma- toma- tomato. Hmph__! _

_Supein ga motte kita Amerika kara motte kita _

_Taiyou no kuni no tesoro tomato daisuki _

_Demo _

_Ai wa katarebai itte mon janai zo _

_Wain katate ni itsumo gira- gira- gira- gi _

_Sakki kawaii ko ni mushi sareta zo kono yaro! _

_"HYAAAAAAA! _

_Chikushou! Itsumo ore bakkari nerai agatte!" _

_("Supein no yaro, tasuke ni koi yo!") _

_Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato _

_Buono buono oo! Tomato! _

_Chichukai mo o sore mio _

_Minami Italia_

_Kaji wa anmari kyou janai kedo _

_Otouto no ga e ya boueki tokui dakeredo _

_Tama ni tori ni made baka ni sareru kedo _

_Ore datte...! Ore datte...! CHIGIIIIIIII-! _

_Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato _

_Buono buono oo! Tomato! _

_(Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato _

_Buono buono uu! Tomato!) _

_Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato _

_Buono buono oo! Tomato! _

_(Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato _

_Buono buono oo! Tomato!)_

_Uno__・__Due__・__Tre__・__dai! _

_Kimi ni mo hitotsu ageru kireina no wo hitotsu ageru _

_Oishii tomato tabete boku to odorou _

_(Amore!) _

_Buono! Tomato buono! Tomato _

_Buono buono oo! Tomato! _

_Chi vediamo a romano _

_Minami Italia__"_

Romano shook his head when the song ended, and his feet stopped moving. He glanced around at all of us, "What the fuck are you all staring at?"

I shouted out first, "2nd!"

Then Sarah, "5th!"

Paige, "3rd!"

"2nd to last."

We all felt our eyes widen in shock as we stared at Conner, not believing the words that just escaped his mouth.

"I-I don't understand! How is that possible?" I waved my hand in front of Conner's face, and then held up my middle finger, "How many fingers am I holding up? Are you lucent?"

He slapped my hand away, "You were flicking me off."

"Why isn't he in your top five?" Paige asked, moving closer to Romano, no doubt going to try and grab his curl.

He shrugged "He's mean, and I don't like him."

"You're mean." I pouted.

Romano spoke up, "Stop talking about me like I'm not here, dammit!" He slammed his fist down on the empty wooden table in front of him.

"Hi Roma, has anyone seen Prussia?" I asked, searching around the room as everyone did the same.

"I haven't seen him since this morning." Sarah said, looking down at her watch, "A couple of hours ago, now."

"Oh, he said he was going to find his less-than-awesome bruder." Paige smacked her forehead as she remembered, "So he could be gone all day."

"There's a potato bastard staying here!"

"There will probably be two potato bastards staying here eventually." I pointed out, and Romano let out an enraged cry and kicked the table so it fell sideways onto the ground, he then stormed out of the room, heading in the direction of the kitchen.

I rocked back and forth on my heels, trying to think of something to keep up entertained.

"So…. Who wants to dye Easter eggs?"

"Easter was yesterday, Cin." Conner said, shaking his head.

"So?"

"…Fine."

We cheered and Paige, Sarah, and I all dashed for the kitchen, with Conner following after us, walking like a normal human.

Romano glanced at us from behind the open fridge door, with his arms full of tomatoes, a look of disgust crossed over his face and he disappeared behind the door again.

I walked over him and grabbed a carton of eggs over his shoulder. He glared at my hand as it passed him.

I shoved the box into Conner's hand, "Here, boil these." He nodded and walked over to the stove top, pulling a pot out from a drawer under it.

I started going through the drawers lining the cabinet's, looking for the Easter Egg Dying Kit that my Mom sent me, because she knew I wouldn't go out and buy one myself.

Sarah set some glasses on the kitchen table and Paige grabbed the vinegar, pouring a perfect amount in each cup, and efficiently smelling up the room.

Romano started gagging, "What the hell? Why don't you just use water?"

I blinked at him, "Vinegar makes them brighter. Duh."

He scowled at me and I sighed.

"Why so tsundere, Lovi?"

His scowl deepened, "Tsundere? And what the fuck does that mean?"

"Google it, sweetie."

"_Sweetie?_"

I sighed and turned to Sarah, who had started dropping the little color tablets into the vinegar, "He's not used to being in the south yet."

She nodded her head in mock sympathy. And I wiped an imaginary tear from the corner of my eye.

"Don't worry Lovi, this will all make sense one day, _I promise_." I said, lowering my voice to a whisper at the end.

I smiled after his face showed the confusion I was working to get, and went to check on the eggs, because Conner couldn't tell when things were done to save his life.

"Conner, they're ready." I said, poking him in the back, and then sitting down at the table with Paige and Sarah. **(A/N Eggs don't boil this fast. Normally I'd put this at the end, because I personally hate author's notes in the middle of the story, but I know someone's going to say something without reading what I say at the end.)**

Paige called to Romano, "Come dye eggs with us."

"No." he said, and he crossed his arms and turned his back to us.

"We're not buying any more tomatoes if you don't." Sarah smirked at the look of horror that crossed over his face. It was soon replaced by one of annoyance as he made his way over to the table, sliding down into the seat next to mine with a thump.

The backdoor next to the table burst open and slammed against the wall, making us all jump, and Conner drop an egg.

Romano recovered first, "God damn potato bastard! Do you have a fucking brain?"

Prussia ignored him completely, throwing a small box over to me, "This was on your doorstep, and you're welcome."

I read the label on the box, "Conner, I'm guessing this is your wig." I set the box down on the table just in time so Conner wouldn't snatch the box from my hand.

He pried it open and pulled out a plastic bag with something brown in it. He ripped it open and showed off his new Austria wig, and we all clapped quietly for him, all of us except Prussia and Romano, that is.

Prussia clicked his tongue, "Why would you want to look like Miss Priss when you could look like awesome me?"

Sarah raised her hand, "I cosplay as Fem!Prussia!"

He ruffled her hair affectionately, "Good girl."

"Prussia, do you support PruLiech?" I asked him, and he stared at me blankly.

"What?"

"Prussia x Liechtenstein."

"Isn't she like, a kid? Do I look like a pedo to you?"

"Liechtenstein is like, almost 300 years old. 293, if I remember correctly, and was created by the Holy Roman Empire. I think. I'm pretty sure." I pointed out, and struggled to remember the details of the article I read.

"So she's older than Canada." Paige explained, "And that's probably your most common partner, PruCan."

"Don't forget about Prumano. It's pretty common, too." Sarah told her, and I shook my head with a frown on my face.

"The only person Romano pairs with is Spain! And that's final." I declared, ending that conversation.

Romano glared at me, a small blush forming on his cheeks "Me? With that tomato bastard? W-What would make you think like that?"

I patted his back lightly, "Aw, come on Roma, you know you love Boss Spagna."

"B-Boss? I have no feelings for that bastardo!"

Prussia butted in, "Ja, ja, whatever Süd-Italien, let's dye some eggs."

Conner set the eggs down on a plate in front of us, and we all fought over with cup of dye we were going to put our eggs in first. Romano claimed the red, because he was going to paint it like a tomato when he was done, Prussia got the yellow, so he could make it a Gilbird egg, and Sarah quickly stole the remaining colors, leaving Paige, Conner, and I with nothing to do.

Bored already, I took one of the eggs and took out one of the watercolor kits that I like to use when dying eggs so I can paint on them.

I painted two little blue circles on it, then switched colors to black, quickly doodling what I needed. I set down the paintbrush and the egg and pushed my chair away from the table, jumping up to rummage through one of the many drawers in my kitchen, searching for some pipe cleaners. I found a yellow one and cut the tip with some scissors I found lying around, and grabbed the tube on glue sticking out of the drawer.

I returned to my place at the table and quickly dabbed the glue where I needed it to go, and holding the pipe cleaner in place until the glue dried enough to hold it up by itself.

I quickly bended it into place and held it up to show off to everyone, "Look, Mochi America!"

Paige snapped her fingers, "Good idea, I'll do Mochi Italy."

"Imma do an Iggyblob now." I smiled and got to work.

Eventually, all of us—excluding Romano—were making the mocha versions of the counties.

Romano had an absolute fit when I put Mochi Romano and Mochi Spain closer to each other that the rest of them, he said my friends and I were like mini-Hungary's. We were all quite pleased.

When we finished, we looked at the army of Mochi's on the table, and we were all looking at each other like, "Now what?"

Paige gave the first idea, "Want to go feed them to the homeless?"

I shook my head, "If we stopped giving them free food, they'd find a job."

"We could go egg people's houses." Sarah said, sounding a bit unsure.

"That's only fun if the eggs are _raw_, Fraulein." Prussia spoke as if he was talking to a child, and Sarah rolled his eyes.

Romano shrugged his shoulders, "Spanga and Veneziano live somewhere across town. We could go throw them at those idiots."

Conner stared at him, "How do you know this?"

"I just do, okay?" Romano snapped at him, and Conner raised both his hands, backing away.

I tilted my head a bit, thinking, "Want to have a hard-boiled egg fight?"

"Getting hit with those hurts." Paige pointed out. "I'm down."

"Majority rules, let's go outside." I said, and grabbed the cartons of eggs on the table and bringing them out the door, ignoring Romano behind me, "What majority? We didn't vote!"

The air was a little cold, not normal for us being so far down south, and I shivered a bit, before reaching into a styrofoam box and pulling out a Mochi Greece, and turning on my heel and slinging it right into Prussia's chest.

"Ow!" the albino whined, frowning, before grabbing one of the boxes I had discarded onto the ground and throwing an egg at me, which I easily dodged.

We quickly formed into two teams, Paige, Romano, and I vs. Sarah, Prussia, and Conner.

Romano was obviously focusing all of his energy on trying to bruise as much of Prussia as possible, so Paige and I ended up being his backup, because Sarah and Conner were focusing on him, because he was the biggest threat to their team.

We ducked, dodged, and blocked the eggs, and it was obvious we were going to win with an angry Italian on our side, him having so much practice already, used to slinging tomatoes at people once a year on a special holiday Italy had.

Eventually, Prussia's team admitted defeat, and we ordered pizza for dinner, because we were all to tired to cook. Well, Conner said he would but he was just as bad in the kitchen as England.

While we all gathered around the T.V with our plates of pizza on our laps, I dropped the bomb on the ex-personifications, because let's face it, neither of them were countries anymore. What with Prussia being dissolved and Italy being reunified.

"Guess what guys?" I said, sounding oddly cheerful, Prussia and Romano watched me with a curious gaze.

"Y'all get to start looking for jobs tomorrow!"

* * *

><p><strong>Dun dun dun...<strong>

**You guyssss, seriouslyyy. This was just supposed to be something for me to do when I'm bored and have writers block on my other stories, and somehow this turned into my most popular one. It doesn't have the most reviews, mind you, but the most favorites and visitors.**

**I got the lyrics from the tomato song on Hetalia Archives, so if anythings wrong, blame them, not me. I already fixed some of it.**

**I started wiring this the day before Easter, it really shouldn't of taken me this long time finish, but it did. Sorry.**

**I guess I'll alternate updates between this and We Came Together. So I've got to update that next.**

OH. OH OH OH OH.

USUK FANS, LISTEN UP.

**Did you know there was a **YAOI CD RELEASED WITH USUK ON IT?** Original voice actors, too. Download link, HERE. I recommend using headphone if you're in a house with other people.**

**http :/ www .media fire. com/?eas 2moty7yley0c**

**Remove the spaces. I wonder how they got poor Sugimiya and Konishi to do this. I started fangirling so hard when I finished listen to this. Happy fantasizing! **

**~Cin**

**P.S Reviews make me work faster. In fact, I live off of reviews. They're the only things that motivate me to write.  
><strong>


	4. Chapter 4

I stole Sarah's laptop again, squinting at the small print on the screen, because for whatever reason I left my glasses upstairs and Romano, Sarah, Paige, and Conner all refused to go get them for me, so it seemed I'd have to go without for awhile.

Conner looked up from his knitting (Yes, Conner knits. He finds it very relaxing and he makes us these awesome flag scarves all the time. They're really soft!), "Hey…" he began, glancing around, he lifted the throw pillow beside him on the couch and looked under it, searching for something, "Has anyone seen Prussia?"

Romano snorted, "He's probably lying dead in some gutter somewhere! Thank _god_!"

"Impossible, Prussia's too awesome to die in a gutter. If anything, he's passed _out_ in a gutter." Sarah frowned at Romano, and crossed her arms over her chest, returning to reading the website I was looking at over my shoulder.

I sighed, "He's at his new job, believe it or not."

Chaos ensued. Sarah jumped up onto the couch, soundlessly yelling at me, Romano was doubled over with laughter, pleased with the misfortune his fellow ex-nation was subjected to, and Paige looked torn between crying and laughing. Conner just dropped his needles.

"W-What? _You were serious_?" Paige asked, leaning forward and staring at me. It felt like she was staring straight into my soul, so I forced my eyes away from hers and glared at Romano.

"Roma, you're getting one too, so stop laughing."

"Excuse you?"

"What do you think I'm doing right now?"

Romano narrowed his eyes, and got up from the recliner he had claimed as his own, walking up to me to see what I was attempting to read.

He saw me checking a job listing page for our area, and—as many of my friends would say—bust a tit.

He threw his hands up in the air and brought them down on the coffee table, creating a loud banging sound that startled Conner and Paige, both of them jumping slightly. Romano started stamping his foot and bitching about how he shouldn't need to do any work, he continued this for a few moments, before storming out of the room, most likely intent on trying to destroy all off my cosplays, seeing as I hold them very near and dear to my heart.

I checked the time and passed the computer off to Sarah so she could continue the job search and hoisted myself off the couch, adjusting my shots, "Let's get out of here, Paige."

She nodded and started working on putting her hair into a ponytail while I called up the stairs to Romano, "You still want to come and do March of Dimes with us?"

A muffled "No." was my reply.

"What about the babies, Roma?"

A pause. "Fine."

He trudged down the stairs with his usual scowl on his face, almost looking like a pout.

I glanced back into the living room, "Sarah." She glanced up, "Hold down fort, if we don't return, you can have my hidden cosplay money stash."

I open the front door and was able to herd everybody out and shut the door, but not before hearing Sarah yell at me, "Where is it?"

WwWw

Paige, Romano and I met up with the rest of our team at the park where the starting line for March of Dimes was.

Savana and Kelly both had on their The Otaku Team shirts, all decked out with characters from various animes, and when we arrived they passed us ours from the box at their feet.

When they got a good look at Romano, they both started spazzing. We had informed them of our new Hetalia Units, but this was the first time they actually got to meet one of them.

Romano's frowned at the attention, but before he could do any real emotional damage on my friends, we were told to go to the starting line to begin the walk.

We pushed our way through the crowd of people and stood right under the big banner, and in front of the news camera.

We all waved like crazy people, and when they started playing "I'm Sexy and I Know It" we all sang along and danced. Well, all of us except Romano that is, who seemed really unpleased with his decision about coming.

We started the countdown, and at zero we began the march, moving at a quick pace. Our goal was to set a pace and stay at it for the full six miles, and to not stop at all.

To pass the time, we joked around and listened to music, occasionally succeeding in roping Romano into the conversation, only for him to pull back out suddenly moments later.

About three miles in, my phone rang.

I paused my iPod and Savana groaned, as we were just getting to the good part in America's Maru Kaite Chikuyuu.

"It's Sarah, blame her." I told her, and answered, holding the phone a little away from my ear, because the screaming had already begun.

The sounded like an absolute mess, I could hear Conner yelling in the background with Prussia—who had returned from work— chiming in every two seconds, and Sarah was babbling nervously into the phone, and I couldn't make heads or tails of what she was saying.

"Sarah, calm down, and go into a different room, I can't hear over Conner and Prussia." I told her, and she quickly did just that.

"Okay, what's going on?" I asked her, turning the phone on speaker so everyone could hear.

"_Two things. First one, which is very urgent. We have a con tomorrow_." Sarah groaned.

We all gasped and exchanged glances, "What con?"

"_AiCon_."

We gasped again, how did we all forget about the famous convention that surpassed Anime Expo last year? Given it was by three people, but still beat the (formally) biggest convention for anime in America!

"Well, I assume we already registered and booked a room, right?" Paige said, leaning in towards the mouthpiece.

"_We did, but_—"

"Then what do we have to worry about?"

Sarah spoke in one breath, "_We signed up to do an Ask-A-Nation panel_."

We all stopped walking.

I spoke first, "Oh _shit_."

"_And we were supposed to find a lot of people! We forgot to do interviews_!" Sarah said, her voice plainly showing how stressed she was feeling.

We've done panels before, so we knew how this went down. Not having enough panelists is bad.

"Who all remembers registering for AiCon?" I asked the group, and everyone raised their hands (but Romano, who was tapping his foot impatiently) "Okay so this means that for the panel we have Italy, Germany, Romano, Spain, Austria, and America. We're missing key nations."

"_I can ask the Hetalia cosplay group if anyone with experience would be willing to do it, but I don't know what we'll get_."

I resumed walking, trying to match my brisk pace from before, "Ask Prussia if he wants to do the panel." I glanced over at Romano and thought for a second, "If you can get some other Nordic cosplayers, I'll be Denmark for the panel and Romano can be himself."

Romano coughed on his water, "Ask me before you decide something, bastard!"

I glanced at him apologetically, "Sorry, Roma. But this is for the fans."

"_What fans?"_

"Shut up, Sarah. What's the second thing?"

"_We got three new units_."

"Three?"

"_Yep, Spain, America, and Canada_."

Savana and I both squealed like crazy when we heard America, and Romano took the chance to snatch the phone out of my hand, "That tomato-bastards there?"

"_Yes?_"

"Disgusting."

He shoved the phone back in my hand and his walking speed increased.

I told Paige to keep an eye on him, "We can use them, Canada can be himself, and… Hm, I think America might be the perfect size for my England cosplay, since it's too big, tell him all he needs to do is pretend to be England for two hours. And Spain can be… Russia? Conner can let him use his cosplay, they should be just about the same size."

"Alright. I'll get back to you on who can take the other roles. Now walk for the crippled babies, Madison." And with that, Sarah hung up.

I slid my phone back in my pocket, "Well, looks like we're gonna be having a long night guys."

* * *

><p><strong>Fail chapter is fail.<strong>

**Sorry, I wrote this in like, two hours. And I wanted it up tonight.**

_**AiCon isn't real. I made it up.**_

**Next chapter will have the convention. Hooray! I'll probably include some of the experiences I had at MomoCon with the amazing Sarah and the awesome Paige~  
><strong>

**OUR COSPLAY LIST IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING (_for the Panel ONLY, excluding extras_):  
><strong>

_**Me/Madison- Denmark  
><strong>_

_**Sarah-Spain  
><strong>_

_**Paige-Italy  
><strong>_

_**Conner-Austria  
><strong>_

_**Savana-America  
><strong>_

_**Kelly-Germany  
><strong>_

_**Romano-himself  
><strong>_

_**Canada-himself  
><strong>_

_**America-England  
><strong>_

**_Spain-Russia_  
><strong>

**Love y'all (especially reviews, I LOVE reviews so much, they're like crack for me),_  
><em>**

**Ayai~  
><strong>


	5. AN note and petition! Sign for lemons!

**Totally not an update, but seeing as this fic is technically dead, because I got absolutely NO reviews for the last chapter, I don't really want to update, but it still has the most story alerts out of all my other fics (by little, but still), I'm putting this up on here, and I think you guys should all sign it :l I found it while doing my routine search for amazing fanfiction. If anyone cares, I think my quest today turned out to be quite uneventful.  
><strong>

**Kthxbye.**

Greetings to the fine folk that moderate our site.

Myself, along with many, have been writing and posting on your fine site for years now, some of the better examples of up and coming writers out there are now suddenly finding some of the stories we've come to love at risk of being removed without the chance to even rectify our errors.

For some, that means the permanent loss of a story. While I don't have anything that I believe violates your terms of use, there are those out there that are never able to recover a story in its original form, this is something I find to be almost worthy of a legal action, as while we cannot claim ownership of a character, the stories are OURS and simply destroying them is something that is inexcusable.

It's quite easy to simply add an MA rating, additional filters or even a simple requirement for a free membership to read the stories presented here, and would cut down on hateful anonymous reviews and posts at the same time, so I have to question as to why such a thing, in all this time, simply wasn't added.

If you're worried about falsification of a registration then have an appropriate disclaimer and then there can be no dispute, you took your steps and the PARENTS didn't monitor their children, if that is even your concern. If it is more of a personal view or desire then please at least let people know and give them a chance to remove a story that you and yours find offensive, most people on the site are actually rather cordial when it comes to such requests.

While I cannot say for sure if this letter will even reach those that may be willing to listen, of if it's more akin to a wide spectrum purge in preparation for something bigger, please understand that you are going to be losing a LARGE number of your writers, and thus your income from a lack of readers if there is not some level of action taken to help with this situation.

For those that may agree with this, please feel free to sign on and send this to the support server, maybe we can get some movement on this.

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The Dark Graven

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Ayai


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